Byadmin
February 26, 2017
0
100 Black Dads
“It’s truly difficult to have a child understand that someone might not like them or play with them just because they look different.”
“It’s truly difficult to have a child understand that someone might not like them or play with them just because they look different.”
“Being a Black dad in America is quite complex – unlike the average American dad, we have to be conscious of the way we carry ourselves. We have to work twice as hard to counter the negative perceptions society has bestowed on us. However, I feel like negative biases create an opportunity for growth to prove people wrong, especially for me personally.
The Black lives matter movement has created a platform for the need of social equality. As a Black dad and being married to a white woman, this has been an opportunity to discuss race relations at home.
The discussion of race and prejudices are very essential to our growth as a society. Unfortunately, many choose to ignore the challenges. Until we all decide to acknowledge this problem and make a conscious effort to embrace our differences, we shall continue to witness the plague of racism that is quite evident in America today.”
“It means the world to me that I am a African American dad in today’s time period. I take it so personally that I am charged to lead these beautiful creations that I work tirelessly to make sure they have the things they need to be successful. There’s nothing more satisfying than to see them smile. The impact of the Black Lives Matter movement is a draining feeling, because you have to come to terms that there isn’t a level field of compassion and equality existing among ALL people and that there is a talk that you have to have with small kids. It makes you want to protect them even more.”
“I’m extremely proud to be a Black father in today’s society. For years the stigma around our culture has many times been negative, but I grew up with a great father who had a major impact on where I am today. He provided me with a template of what it means to be an engaged and invested father. And now I find myself surrounded by so many of my peers who are just amazing Black fathers who love what they do. It sounds a little corny, but I love the fact that when I scroll down my Instagram and Facebook timelines, so many of the videos are of my fellow Black fathers simply spending quality time with their kids. The best part about it is that the time spent is clearly not an obligation. They do it because they genuinely enjoy fatherhood the same way that I do.
The Black Lives Matter movement is something that has been brewing for decades. I believe that highlighting the existence of racial inequality, and the fact that it still exists, is a much needed conversation. It’s clearly uncomfortable for a lot of people to accept, and it’s so much easier to ignore it, but I never considered ignoring a problem to be a viable solution. I’ve had numerous interactions with police where I was disrespected and even once called a nigger by a female police officer who ran a stop light and almost hit me. I wasn’t disrespectful. I cooperated. I was wearing a suit in the middle of the workday in downtown Philadelphia. None of that mattered because in her mind, I was a young Black male, so showing me respect was not something she had to do.
I hope that the increased attention and conversation that is currently taking place will have a positive effect moving forward into the future. It seems that race relations have regressed in the past decade or so, and if that trend continues it can definitely lead to some turbulent times.
I think it’s important to emphasize the amount of effort put forth and pride that Black men take in being fathers to counter the long held belief that we are absent by default. That is far from the truth. We are just as committed and vested in the experience that is fatherhood. We are blessed to have many more opportunities than those that came before us, and look forward to setting up our children to be even better off than us.”
Dear Theo,
This month I want you to remember all of the fun we like to have when we’re together. Just like your mommy and daddy, you are growing up to love cracking jokes and “performing” for your adoring audience. One thing I never understood before I was a parent is how utterly surprising every new day with you can be. I feel like I can never soak up enough of your personality…every new day spent with you is such a pleasant surprise to find out what your creative little brain will come up with next! Today, I just want to post some pictures to remind you of how much laughter filled our days when you were 2.5 years old. So here goes…
I love you SOOOOOOO MUCH,
Mommy
To keep reading the rest of the letters by the women in this blog circle, please visit Candice Victoria Photography.
Dear Theo,
Lately you have been astounding me with your incredible growing mind. You have been able to create and share stories with us, completely designed by your budding imagination. Yesterday, you demonstrated your ability to pick the baby lock on the refrigerator as well as your ability to hit the stop button followed by the Netflix button on the remote (“I want to watch new show mommy.”). You are able to pick out your outfits on a daily basis now, and you’ve learned how to put on your coat all by yourself by using the magic “up and over” trick. 🙂 You are now responsible for hanging up your own coat and putting away your shoes when we come into the house. We’ve started counting down the days until Christmas on the Advent calendar, and you’ve surprised us each day by recognizing numbers we had no idea you even knew!
And yet, despite all this growth, you are still our little snuggler. You frequently ask to be buried in pillows and blankets in your “nest”. You ask to be “held like Baby Theo” and for mommy to feed you your water “like Baby Theo”.
You’re getting so big, and yet you’re still so very small. It can be a hard thing to navigate…learning how to foster your independence while also treasuring your snuggles and smallness.
I know I can’t freeze time, but these pictures are my very best effort to do so. I want to make these moments last as long as possible. When you look back on them years from now, I want you to be reminded of all the fun you had growing up, all the curiosity and wonder I noticed in you; I want you to remember a time when your sense of adventure far outweighed the stress and anxieties of life.
And…maybe selfishly, I also want to be able to recall these days for myself, so that I can remember your tiny toes and your love for your favorite pacifiers (“Old Bluey” and “Old Greeny”). As much as I’m excited and proud to watch your growth, I also secretly want you to stay small for as long as possible.
Love,
Your Mommy
To keep reading the rest of the letters by the women in this blog circle, please visit Candice Victoria Photography.
Today marks the start of a new monthly project I will be participating in through Clickin Moms, a wonderful online photography forum that I am so blessed to be a part of. This Letters to Our Sons Project is actually a spin-off of two similar blog circles (found here and here) started by some of the Clickin Moms Pros, and I found myself so inspired by their monthly commitment to writing to their children that I decided to create another such blog circle. I hardly know the other women who will be undertaking this project with me…we are separated by many miles and our lives are all very different, but I do know that we share two things in common: a passion for photography and a deep love for our sons. And so, I am very excited to share this very important part of my life with them (and with you!). I hope you will enjoy getting to know each of these women too!
Month 1: November 2012
Dear Theo,
This isn’t my first letter to you, but it is certainly the first in a very long while. Most of my previous letters were written in a journal I kept since I found out I was pregnant with you, and each letter was written to chronicle your development as well as my own feelings about becoming a mother and documenting little snapshots of our lives in those early days. You are almost two and a half years old now, and those random journal entries about breastfeeding difficulties and teething woes already feel like a billion years ago. Now our days are filled with laughter, a constant stream of conversation and mutual story-telling, music, imagination, and the occasional temper tantrum. 😉 I used to write to you about how difficult it was to leave you every day when I had to go to the office, but I have been beyond blessed for the past 8 months to be able to spend my days at home with you now. Despite the long hours of work I have to put in after your bedtime each day, and my own occasional temper tantrums out of sleep deprivation or even (dare I say it) boredom, this is still my absolute favorite decision I have made in the past two and a half years since you were born, and I wouldn’t miss these days spent with you for the world!
Theo, you have a BIG personality. You are incredibly bright for your age (just the other day I was adding puzzles for FOUR YEAR OLDS to your Christmas list!), your vocabulary is humungous, you have a sense of humor well beyond your years, and your empathy for others never ceases to astound me. You are now at an age that you are able to put your own thoughts into words, rather than just repeating phrases that you’ve heard us use. The novelty of your thoughts catches me off guard at least several times a day. Yesterday, for example, as we were leaving your Abuela and Pop pop’s house, you said (completely unprompted), “Thank you Abuela, thank you for playing with me”. You are just such a loving, affectionate, and self-aware little guy!
As I was thinking about what picture I’d like to post to really summarize what life is like for us right now, I had to go back to the shots of your beloved pirate hat. You were completely obsessed with all things Halloween this past month, and you actually insisted on sleeping with your pirate hat for several days because you were so excited to wear it on “Halloween night”! You’ve never been a very good sleeper, but now that I know you better I realize that’s partly because you are just too darn busy soaking in everything around you to waste your time resting. You do pretty much every activity with excitement and vigor and if you’re not jumping, singing, or dancing, then you are probably proposing a game of hide and seek, running a race, or cracking hilarious jokes for the rest of us to enjoy.
Dear Theo, for all of these reasons and more, I love you so so much! <3 Please keep reminding me to stop taking life so seriously and just enjoy every second of it the way you do!
To keep reading the rest of the letters by the women in this blog circle, please visit Candice Victoria Photography.
What a gorgeous sunset we had for K + J’s couple session. How cute are these newlyweds?! 🙂 I loved being able to capture these memories of them in their new home with their adorable pugs! 🙂
I had the pleasure of playing in the gorgeous fall foliage today with sweet little Miss M and her parents. What a perfect day to play in the woods!
What a pleasure it was to meet up with my lovely cousin and her gorgeous family for a fall photo shoot! Here are some of my favorites from the day…
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